angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
