i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
