It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
