so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
