i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
COCAINE IS GR8
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
