Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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