I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize