One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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