i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
