Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
