Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
