i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
