We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
