I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
