sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize