I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
