I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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