we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
