I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It's official drugs can't kill me
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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