Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
