Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
