You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
