The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
