Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Everything about him screamed your future.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
