Where did you get a picture of my penis
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
