i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
