Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
