i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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