I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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