There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
