Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
