Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
