they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
