I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
