Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
