college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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