i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
