I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My nipple is on Facebook.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
