I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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