He uses pillows to masturbate.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
