It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
