TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
