took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Randomize
