READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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