I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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