roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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