my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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