i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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