At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
