Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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