i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
