Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
