I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
