I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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