Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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