halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
