just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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