Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
