so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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