my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
it was like eating out sand paper
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
