he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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