i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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