I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
This is classic penis vs brain.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
