hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
